Of blue drinks
by Crazy4Moony
Summary: Of blue drinks, an eight months difference, and Sirius’ lost underwear: If there's one thing Remus hates more than anything, it's Sirius when he's being a bastard. What else to do but use a blue drink as revenge, and make him lose those boxers, fast.


_**Of blue drinks, ****an eight months difference, and Sirius' lost underwear.**_

This was not good at all. Sure, he wasn't as pretty as he'd always been—but there Sirius was, bloody flirting with other people. And right in front of his face too! How dare that good-for-nothing bastard. Not to mention that he was the one that had insisted Remus'd come with him in the first place. They lived together for peeves sakes! They slept in the same bed—and that was so overused because they hardly ever slept, really.

He was just about to go over there and give that prick a piece of his mind, when a tall brunette flopped down next to him—he was rather young, so Remus noted, and not ugly at all.

"Why're you not dancing?" The boy asked, smiling at Remus as he took a sip from his blue drink—whatever it was.

"Because my date's flirting with other guys and I thought thinking of clever ways to make his demise as painful as possible would be far more entertaining," he glanced over at the boy, and his smile grew. "Why aren't you?"

"I was going to ask you," the boy grinned full on, taking another sip. "But since you're taken it seems a bit crude."

"Well, I'm flattered," Remus smiled—and he hadn't smiled all night. He would've expected Sirius to make him smile, but nooo. The man was being flirted with and he didn't care Remus was all alone. It really wasn't fair of him—and no fun. Usually Sirius would punch anyone that dared to come too close to him. Now he was just standing there, grinning with other people. "Why don't you have a date?"

"Oh, I do," he pointed in Sirius' direction, and Remus' heart stopped for a second. "He's flirting with Sirius," the boy gave another grin, leaning back. "I'd join them, but everyone says Sirius is taken, and it's against my principles to flirt with people that are taken. It makes me feel like a bastard."

"Pff, I wish he'd think like that too, that bitch." Remus muttered darkly, and the boy frowned.

"Who?"

"Sirius of course," Remus gave a huff, crossing his arms. "Stupid bitch insists I come and then pays no mind to me. I hate being ignored by him—he's a bloody menace! He doesn't have the right to ignore me."

"You mean... you're Sirius' date?" The boy's frown only grew when Remus gave a clear nod. "That can't be. He likes young people—and I'm not calling you ugly or anything 'cause you're drop-dead-gorgeous... but you are a bit older, right?"

"He's eight months older then I am." Remus glared offensively and the boy chuckled.

"He likes young people. You know, guys in their twenties."

"How would you know!" Remus snapped, but the boy merely chuckled again.

"'Cause my boy's been trying to get inside his pants for ages now, but Sirius keeps on telling him he's too old—and he's barely thirty."

Remus let out a growl—it was really close to the full moon, and he was definitely freaking out right now. Sirius was pissing him off and he wasn't even there! Oh, that man did miracles. So he liked younger heh? Remus was going to make him pay.

"Say, can I borrow that for a second?" he pointed at the blue drink the brunette was holding.

"Sure." He handed him the chique glass and Remus stood, brushed off his trouser and started walking towards the small crowd around Sirius.

The brunette followed him, and he could hear him asking what he was up to, but Remus ignored him. Instead he wormed his way through until he was right behind Sirius, and poked him in the shoulder. Sirius turned around immediately—he smiled when he saw Remus, but before the man could say anything, Remus dumped the contents of his glass on the raven, and started yelling.

"YOU STUPID STUCK-UP BITCH!" he glared angrily, and Sirius' eyes widened—with blue stuff dripping down his face. Everyone turned to the pair in shock, noticing the brunette that was apparently attacking their Sirius. He wasn't _theirs_! He was _Remus'_. "I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE A PERV, BUT WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER IT WAS CUTE! NOW IT JUST MAKES ME SICK, YOU ROWDY, GOOD-FOR-NOTHING WHORE. YOU CAN FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO PET YOUR FUR. Ugh," he pushed the glass into Sirius' hands, and shook his own—some of the stuff had gotten onto them, and the drink was rather sticky. "And don't even think about sleeping on the couch. Find yourself a young beauty to sleep with instead."

He flattered his hands against Sirius' black shirt to get off the beverage, but when Remus went to extract them again, Sirius caught his wrists.

"Mind explaining why I have blue stuff dripping down my neck?" He asked sweetly—as if he hadn't heard Remus at all, and oh, it pissed him off!

"Because you're a stuck-up-whore. I thought I'd made myself clear when I was yelling just a minute ago," he scowled and tried to pull away—Sirius wouldn't budge. People stared—the tall brunette had stilled in shock too. "Let go of my hands."

Sirius shook his head and Remus glared with all his might.

"Fuck off Sirius, let go now, or I will curse your ass into next week!"

"But you called me a whore," Sirius complained—oh, he just kept on making it worse. Pretending he hadn't done anything wrong. "You can't do that. It kinda messes with the fact that we love each other."

"Oh yeah, boehoe," Remus tried to pull his wrists away again, but Sirius didn't let go. "You don't love me—_you like young people_. I'm rather old."

"That's only so people wouldn't think I'm in to them," he gave the most angelic expressions and Remus grunted again. "And if you're old I'm old 'cause I'm eight months older." He sounded as if he wanted to stick his tongue out, and Remus knew he had to resist the urge.

"Oh, I'm so flattered," Remus rolled his eyes. "_Please_—if you wanna have a go at them, don't mind me. I'll just go back to the couch and watch you flirt your ass off."

"You're cranky," Sirius decided, and people were still intently listening to their conversation—as if that would change the fact that Sirius was giving attention to a man well into his thirties. "Do you want to go home?"

"I'm definitely not going home with _you_," Remus frowned. "Because you're a bitch."

"Okay, Remus, I really hate to do this when you're pissed at me," Sirius said with a sombre tone, and Remus' frown grew—what _now_. Some people wondered if perhaps Remus really was Sirius' puppy—which was just absurd in their heads. "But I see no other choice."

Before anyone else could have a thing to say in the matter, Sirius pulled Remus' body against his own and laced their lips together. He let go of the brunette's hands and instead put them on his ass, grabbing fiercely and pulling him up—_finally, action,_ Remus thought, and he wrapped his legs firmly around Sirius' waist.

There was a collective gasp from the crowd, but they paid no mind to it, biting and nipping at each other's lips. Remus' hands went over Sirius' back, flitting under his shirt carelessly. They stumbled a bit through the room—attracting even more people, who stopped talking to watch—and fell down on a nearby couch, Sirius on top and still attacking his mouth with fierce kisses. Remus let go of the other man's back and pushed against the side of the couch, conveniently making them roll off as he landed on top.

He pulled back, earning a groan from Sirius, and sat up straight, licking some of the blue liquid from Sirius' cheek.

"Okay baby, we can go home now." He said, and Sirius grinned, weaving his hand in Remus' hair and pulling him down for another kiss.

"I dunno," Sirius muttered when they parted again, his fingers caressing the back of Remus' neck. "It's been a while since we had sex on the carpet."

Remus chuckled, sitting up straight again, straddling his beautiful raven—_his_.

"Because if you get rug-burn again we're not having sex for three days—unless we do it against the wall but then my back'll ache."

"Fine but then we're going now," Sirius growled. "'Cause I'm getting horny."

"Babe, you're always horny." Remus chuckled, getting up nonetheless.

He brushed off some of the dust that had gotten on his shirt, and helped Sirius get up. Sirius then proceeded to smirk wickedly and drag Remus' ass out of the bar. The next morning when they woke up, Sirius' underwear would be gone, and they wouldn't give shit.

Now, perhaps their lives weren't ideal, and they weren't always too fond of each other—that doesn't mean they ever loved each other less. It were the little flaws in their relationship that defined their love—and that was just fine for the both of them. After all they were just two love-sick puppies, for real.

**AN: Hehe. I loved writing this—I know you guys probably think it's a bit over-top and weird, but to hell with that.**


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